Saturday, November 22, 2014

Lets not repeat this

This past week has been one of the worst I have experienced in a long time and I do not wish to have a repeat of it ever again.
Monday was probably the only ok day and the rest of the week was downhill so where do I start?
Tuesday - found out via email I didn't get the job I so badly wanted and to say I was disappointed was an understatement I was crushed. I then decided that I would give up on ever getting a job in admin but of course God had other plans and 30 minutes after making that decision I got a phone call regarding a job interview in the city the next day.
Wednesday - was just was just busy and the interview took up the whole morning and the rest of the day is a blur.
Thursday - I failed my Hazard Perception Test which is the last thing I have to pass to get my licence followed by a massive argument with my father.
Friday - had another job interview in the city, finished my Christmas shopping and re-took my Hazard Perception Test this would've been a good day had I not failed the test again.
The thing with the Hazard Perception Test is that you can only do 3 practice questions online and they are the exact same ones, the actual test is 28 questions and they are varied. You also just get told whether you pass or fail not the actual percentage or which questions you got right/wrong which is stupid as I want to know what I need to work on! I am so close to getting my license and it sucks that it relies on passing this somewhat pointless test does anyone have any tips on passing it?
The only good thing is that I can take the test once a day until I pass it (it does cost me $14 though) and some post offices will allow you to take it there (licensing centres remind me of all those failed drivers tests) one of which I can get to on the bus quite easily so theres that but I just want to drive.
I am just praying that this week will be a better week and not a repeat of last week.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Is the door shut or not?

Lets cut to the chase here, this is not a happy I finally have a job post this is a what on earth is God doing post.
Yesterday I was checking my emails when I got one saying that unfortunately I was not successful in getting the job I went for 2 weeks ago and so badly wanted to say I was disappointed is an understatement and I spent most of yesterday crying on and off and then I went for a long drive to finish up my log book. During the drive I made the decision that I would give up on ever getting into admin and just not apply for anymore jobs as to me that door had been shut. During our stop for lunch my phone rang and it was a recruitment agency asking if I could come in today for an interview regarding a position I applied. So this morning I travelled to the city and had the interview.
The thing is that I am so confused as to what is happening in my life! I missed out on this amazing job that I so badly wanted and I am finally ready to face reality that maybe just maybe admin isn't for me. Yet I had this interview today and then this afternoon I missed a call and on my voicemail there was a message from a company wanting me to call them back regarding an application on Seek so tomorrow I will have to call them back (it was 4.45pm when they rang and I only just checked my phone). I just want a job and to work, I want to earn money and start contributing to society and I just want to feel wanted.
I wish I could have some indication of what God has planned for me because it seems that nothing is ever straight forward with me and for once I just want things to be easy just once.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Baking and praying

Here is a little known fact about me, I use baking as a coping method. I enjoy baking and its been a hobby of mine since I was 10 but its also become a coping method and what I do to distract myself  when I am having one of my 'down days'. There are days when I need to bake because if I didn't I would end up banging my head against the wall and other times when I just bake because I want to. I have no particular recipe that I enjoy baking it all just depends on what I feel like some days its brownies, other days its my Neapolitan swirl biscuits or cinnamon scrolls. I also enjoy baking bread as the kneading aspect is very therapeutic and I like to knead my frustrations out.

This week is going to be emotionally draining and it all depends if I get the job I so badly want on Wednesday. I am over being unemployed and I don't have the energy to apply for any more jobs, I will get open the Seek app and scroll through the jobs yet I rarely apply for any. So I am praying like crazy that this is the job for me.
I then (finally) get my license on Thursday and to be honest I am kinda freaked out at the whole being able to drive alone part and I keep having dreams about backing into other cars or getting lost on the roads or doing something stupid. My parents have pretty much told me that at least for the first month that I won't be allowed to have any other passengers except for immediate family which I am fine about! I am looking forward to having freedom and being able to get places without relying on public transport (which I am over) and other people for lifts. There is a book a release I want to go to on the 27th and I asked my Mum for permission and she looked at me like I was crazy and told me that I was 20 and I would have my license by then so I didn't need to ask permission as long as I am contactable (and they have some idea of where I am) then its fine.

I guess what I am trying to say is that this week is going to be full of baking and praying. I just wish I could glimpse into the future and find out if I have this job or not!

Monday, November 10, 2014

Just a passing storm

So you know what I hate about the job application process? Its the waiting process after you have an interview! I find out next Wednesday if I have the job I really want and the waiting is killing me (not literally of course!). I know just to get an interview I have been lucky especially as this job had over 300 applicants (not a typo 300 people applied for this job!) but I am over the job searching process and just want this to be the 'one'. I know I have said that I am over it many times but this time despite the job marketing picking up I just don't have the energy to apply for jobs. I looked on Seek today but my mind wasn't focused on looking at any potential jobs I mean I looked at a few but none jumped out at me or I thought I could do. I just want to be employed and feel secure in a job, I don't want to live in this limbo anymore.
I don't want to feel worthless because I don't have a job or because I'm not studying and it doesn't look like I have achieved much since I left high school 3 years ago. When I know deep down I have achieved a lot, such as being on top of my anxiety and not having a major attack in over 2 years and passing my drivers test which is amazing for someone with Dyspraxia as many people with it don't ever drive.
I woke up today to thunder and lightning followed by big drops of rain and I loved it, to me there is nothing like the sound and scent of rain. I always find that everything looks more beautiful in the rain the droplets glistening like crystals on the leaves and afterwards when the sun comes out everything looks more vibrant than it did before the rain. To me the rain symbolises beauty and change, yes storms can be destructive and seem to drag on forever (and many times my house has lost power) but during them I always feel like God is saying that as much as we try to control something he can turn everything upside down in a matter of minutes. When the first rain after Summer comes I love to stand outside, try to catch the droplets and taste the rain there is something about doing that that makes me happy.
I feel like this time in my life is a passing storm yet it seems to drag on forever but I know God is in control of it all and I just need to enjoy it for now and find the beauty in it even if at times its hard.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Album Review: Talking Dreams by Echosmith

This review was totally coming and everyone knows it. I rarely buy music and its fine as I tend to listen to the same stuff over and over again I maybe buy 2 albums a year if that as I honestly can think of much better things to spend my money on. I was in the car with my Mum and Cool Kids came on and it was super catchy and I couldn't get the song out of my head so I went home and downloaded the song off itunes and played it on repeat nonstop. So I decided to pre-order the album and since its release on Friday it has been played nonstop.

Talking Dreams is Echosmith's debut album the lyrics are amazing and the vocals fit together really well, the vibe is different to anything I have every heard but it works. Echosmith is a sibling band made up of Graham (15), Sydney (17), Noah (18) and Jamie (21) who are based in LA. Their single Cool Kids has been skyrocketing on the charts worldwide which is massive achievement for any band.
Talking Dreams has a variety of songs that most people will be able to relate to including Cool Kids. I have a feeing that this will become my Summer soundtrack and can see it being played at many events and during road trips (because this Summer will be all about day trips to various places of course my sister asked me how I would get there not realising that soon I will have my license!) it just has that vibe to it. They are a band of seriously talented siblings and there is just something about a sibling band that appeals to people (remember the Jonas Brothers? The Veronicas? Brothers 3? All sibling bands). There is a good variety of songs and you will soon find yourself singing along or the songs stuck in your head. I am not saying that you should download the album but you should at least check it out, now if only the would come to Australia to tour then I would be happy!

Friday, November 7, 2014

Friday Favourites

Its time for another Friday Favourites! This one is a bit smaller due to the others as my mind has been filled try to stay calm and focused on the interview I had on Wednesday, but I am happy to get it out.



Echosmith shirt - I came across this shirt on Monday and I have just ordered it! I have NEVER bought any band merchandise but I need a couple more t-shirts for summer and this one caught my eye I went for the largest size (XL) they had as I likes my shirts to fit loose so I will update here on how it fits when it arrives.









Formula 10.0.6 Face The Day Tinted Moisturiser, No Time to Shine Face Mask and Over Night Success Spot Minimising Patches - I use all these products weekly!
The moisturiser is my go to and it feels so light but still gives good coverage and a healthy glow. I apply it every morning and just like the name I feel like I can face the day.
The mask is amazing and I find that its good to dab on the spots if I can't be bothered doing my whole


face. It gets rid of the excess oil and leaves my skin feeling refreshed.
The patches are magic and I honestly have no idea what I did without them! My youngest sister and I love them and use these heaps. You just stick them to the source of the breakout once you cleansed your face for the night and go to bed and they do all the work. Just removed them the next day and you will notice a difference trust me. There is 7 packs in each box each containing 12 patches - 6 big, 6 small and they will last you a while (one pack can do me for 2 separate nights easily).




http://www.magnolia-jewellery.com.au/Magnolia Jewellery - my dear sisters bought me the ring pictured for my birthday from them (which I lost then found in my bag of all places after looking there 5 times!) and I love their jewellery. I am planning on buying my Mum her Christmas present from there :) it's all sterling silver and the prices aren't too bad. I am also eyeing off a pair of silver and opal studs for myself so I have a feeling that I should avoid it until I have actually money to spend because I can just see myself spending $100 easily!

Echosmith Talking Dreams - I have made no lie that I love their music and I have discovered that certain music artists affect my ability to blog and it seems that I can blog to Echosmith really well. Their album is out today and its really good music so I have a feeling that this will be on replay for quite a while. I love the song Safest Place its just a catchy tune and the lyrics speak to me. Check it out on iTunes and grab yourself a copy :)







Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Just another interview

You spend the night before stressing about what shoes to wear with your dress, whether your black wedges are to informal compared to your black heels, what jewellery to wear and if you can get away with wearing minimal makeup you end up deciding to wear your black heels, your simple silver earrings, your opal ring you got for your birthday and leave the rest of your jewellery as is, and to keep your makeup classy with your deep purple dress. You go to bed later than usual in the hope that you will fall fast asleep rather than stressing about the little details.
You wake up the next day and anxiety fills you, you begin to doubt yourself and if the interview is a waste of time. You run some errands with your mum and sister then get home and force yourself to eat lunch you get dressed and do your makeup and hair. You get in the car with your mum and get to the place you sit in the car for 5 minutes as you are super early praying that it goes well. You walk up the steps to the building praying the whole way up, you get in the building and a sense of peace slowly fills you, you can do this, this job is yours you hope, you wait in line behind two people one of whom who is there for building approval the other there for dog registration. The lady at the desk smiles at you and says you better not be there for dog registration too jokingly you say no that you have an interview at 2.30 she makes a call and asks you to take a seat. You sit down and try to distract yourself with Facebook and Twitter on your phone unsuccessfully you jump whenever someone walks by in your direction. You eventually get approached by the person from HR you spoke to on the phone on Friday you pray then take the steps into the office. You walk into a room with 2 glass walls with two other people sitting at the desk you get introduced, shake their hands and take a seat the interview starts.
You answer various questions and before you know it the interview is over you walk out of the building knowing that its all in God's hands and you did the best you could, you pray that the next two weeks will go by quickly so you can find out if you have the job or not, because at the end of the day its just another interview.